Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
