Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
