I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
