You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Randomize
