You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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