Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
