im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
