C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
