You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
