idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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