are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
