you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
