worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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