There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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