forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
