Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
