tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
