im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
