if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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