And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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