1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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