so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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