It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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