Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
