Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Are my feet made of real feet?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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