Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
