We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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