No subtext here. People are naked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
