I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
