I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
