I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
