well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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