you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
