so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
