I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
