even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it was like having sex with a tree stump
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
