the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
