is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
