I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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