question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
