I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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