I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize