OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
