if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
