I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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