I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
