I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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