Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
