maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
