so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
