how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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