Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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