Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The air was thick with penises
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
