when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
