Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
