She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
