Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
