she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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