I am in a vortex of obligation.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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