you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
