There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
