so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
