I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
